oise and chatter, i can't get over how the story soared to were it did…
i get great pleasure out of sharing it [her feeling about the story] with you, who really understand how terribly much it means as a tangible testimony that i have got a germ of writing ability. the only thing, i probably won't have a chance to win mlle again, so i'll try for a guest editorship maybe next or my senior year, and set my sights for the atlantic. god, i'm glad i can talk about it with you -- probably you're the only outlet that i'll have that won't get tired of my talking about writing …
speaking again of henry and liz, it was a step for me to a story where the protagonist isn't always me, and proved that i am beginning to use imagination to transform the actual incident. i was scared that would never happen, but i think it's an indication that my perspective is broadening.
sometime i think -- heck, i don't know why i didn't stay home all summer, writing, doing physical science, and having a small part-time job. i could "afford" to now, but it doesn't do much good to yearn about that, i guess. although it would have been nice. oh well, i'll cheer up. i love you.
your own sivvy
june 15, 1952
dear mother.
… do write me letters, mommy, because i am in a very dangerous of feeling sorry for myself … just at present, life is awful. mademoiselle seems quite unreal, and i am exhausted, scared, incompetent, unenergetic and generally low is spirits … working in side hall puts me part, and i feel completely uprooted and clumsy. the more i see the main hall girls expertly getting special dishes, fixing shaved ice and fruit, etc., the more i get an inferiority complex and feel that each day in side hall leaves me further behind … but as tempted as i am to be a coward and escape by crawling back home, i have resolved to give it a good month's trial -- till july 10 … don't worry about me, but do send me little pellets of advice now and then.
june 24, 1952
… last night i went on a "gang" birthday party at the "sand bar" where we sang and talked for a few hours. there were about forty of us kids from the hotel. i managed by some magic to get myself seated next to a fellow in his first year at harvard law -- and he was just a dear … the best part was when we came back. it was a beautiful clear starry night, and clark went in to get me two of his sweaters to wear because it was cold, and brought out a book of t.s. eliot's poems. so we sat on a bench where i could just barely read the print, and he put his head in my lap and i read aloud to him for a wile. most nice. the only thing is i am so inclined to get fond of someone who will do things with me like that -- always inclined to be too metaphysical and serious conversationally -- that's my main trouble … so glad to hear the check from mlle is real. i hardly could believe it. just now i am mentally so disorganized that i can't retain knowledge or think at all. the work is still new enough to be tiring, what with three changes a day into uniforms, and i am so preoccupied by mechanics of living and people that i can't yet organize and assimilate all the chaos of experience pouring in on me. in spite of everything, i still have my good old sense of humor and manage to laugh a good deal of the time … i'll make the best of whatever comes my way.
much love to you,
sivvy
new words
mademoiselle
n. french title equivalent to miss, abbr. mlle
shady
a. full of or providing shad; dark
interior
n. the inner part of sth; inside
insane
a. seriously ill in the mind; mad
anyhow
ad. in any case; anyway
brass
n. (sl.) high officials, executives, etc.
net
vt. gain as profit 净赚
slick
n. a popular magazine printed on heavy, glassy paper（用油光纸印制的）通俗杂志
frankly
ad. in an open, honest and straightforward way
frank
a.
intersession
n. a period between two academic terms, sometime utilized for brief concentrated courses
beer
n. a bitter alcoholic drink made from grain 啤酒
companion
n. one who is often with another person; friend 同伴
brassy
a. loud and daring in a tasteless manner
jolly
vt. make (sb.) feel good or agreeable, esp. to gain and end
protagonist
n. the chief character in a play or novel
gabby
a. very talkative
ratio
n. the relationship in number, quantity or size between two different things 比率
tag
vt. follow closely
flirt
n. a person who behaves with a member of the opposite sex in a way that attracts interest and attention
gracious
a. very well-mannered and pleasant
cute
a. sharp-witted, clever, charmingly attractive
pal
n. (infml) friend
flip
vi. turn over quickly
index
n. an alphabetical list of the names and subjects in a prin
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